You’ve just come across the term “toxic” when representing people and their behavior, but what does it truly involve?
A person who shows toxic traits often engages in behavior that is harmful and destructive to those in their surroundings. Their actions, words, and overall behavior can harm others, they are aware of it or not. At some point in your life, you may find yourself in the company of someone who has such traits. It could be a colleague, a partner, a sibling, or even a parent. The closer your bond with this person, the more demanding it becomes to identify the degree of their unhealthy behavior and actions.
If you also have such toxic people in your life and they severely irritate you, don’t worry anymore. We will give you a proper guide to cope with them. So, here is the key to a tension-free life. Let’s get started!
Avoid Fake Narrative
Some people tend to view themselves as victims in every situation. When they make mistakes, they may divert the blame onto others or build stories that cast themselves in a more favorable light.
While it might be appealing to drop off and smile to prevent an angry outbreak, this approach can unintentionally make them see you as a supporter.
Rather, try handing in respectful disagreement. You can say something like, “I had a different perspective on the situation,” and provide a factual version of what happened. Avoid making prosecution and attach to the facts.
While your disagreement might disturb them, it could also reduce the probability of them involving you in such situations again.
Don’t Get Dragged
Dealing with someone displaying toxic behavior can be exhausting. They may often complain about others, always share stories of perceived unfair treatment, blame you for mistakes, or ignore their needs.
Resist the desire to join them in their complaining or to defend yourself against baseless complaints. Instead, respond with a simple, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and leave it at that.
Pay attention to how they affect you
Sometimes, raising your understanding of how someone’s toxic behavior affects you can help you navigate relations with them more effectively.
It’s usual for people to sometimes say hateful or rude things they don’t mean, particularly when they’re in a bad mood. However, feel that put-downs, lies, or other forms of emotional and verbal abuse control most of your interactions with them. Do they apologize or acknowledge how their words and actions influence you?
It’s important to identify that individual efforts do not excuse abuse, and you have the right not to tolerate such behavior.
Discuss Negative Behaviour
People who employ such behaviors as gossiping, manipulation, or creating drama may not recognize the consequence of their actions on others. Having an open discussion can help them comprehend that their behavior is unacceptable.
To keep the conversation neutral, use “I statements,” which are less critical, and focus on your feelings and boundaries. Here are some examples:
“I feel uncomfortable when I hear unkind things about our co-workers. I won’t participate in those conversations.”
“I value trust in friendship, so I can’t continue this friendship if you lie to me again.”
Prioritize your well-being
Toxic behavior isn’t restricted to abuse or harshness; it can also contain equally dangerous behaviors. For instance, if someone constantly relies on you for help or emotional resilience without returning, it can be harmful.
While you may value your relationship with them, it’s important not to offer help at the cost of your well-being. Healthy relationships include a balance of giving and receiving support.
Taking care of yourself means ensuring you have sufficient emotional power to meet your own needs. This may not be feasible when you’re continuously giving to someone who gives nothing in return.
Offer sympathy but Set Limitations
While you may want to support someone you care about rather than escape them from your life entirely, it’s important to understand that you likely won’t be able to change them.
While you can always offer sympathy and kindness, true change must come from within them. Trying to help someone change before they are prepared can further exhaust your emotional resources.
Learn to Say ‘No’
Saying no and sticking to your decision can be difficult, particularly when someone tries to guilt-trip you into changing your mind.
However, once you’ve determined to say no, it’s essential not to back down. While this may be challenging, specifically if they retreat to striking bursts to get their way, practice makes it easier.
If you find it difficult to leave physically, make it clear that you are no longer involved in the discussion. You can say “Excuse me” and turn away.
Don’t Blame Yourself
Toxic behavior can make you feel as though you’ve done something wrong, even when you know you haven’t.
Encountering personal criticism or manipulative behavior from someone who acts toxically can be emotionally hard. They may get personal, turn your words, or blame you for wanting to harm them. At times, you may even question yourself or look for something you might have done wrong.
However, recall yourself that their behavior is not a reflection of your actions. reconsider your boundaries and try not to take their negativity personally. Take deep breaths to relax yourself or rehearse mindfulness to acknowledge their words without letting them affect you.
Set Your Available
People who engage in toxic behavior often target those people who understand them as easily manipulable. When they identify their strategy doesn’t work for you, they may move on.
By making yourself less open, they may ultimately stop trying to engage with you. This technique can be specifically useful in a workplace setting, where you can provide fair excuses:
“Sorry, I have too much work to chat about right now.”
“I need to prepare for that meeting, so I can’t talk at the moment.”
Anticipate passive-aggressive comments when you employ this approach, but try not to react, as their behavior is not about you.
Limit Your Time
If you find yourself having anxious interactions with a particular person and feeling tense or stressed before seeing them, it may be a sign that you should spend less time with them.
People who display toxic behavior often concentrate on themselves and their wants, condemn others for their issues, and show little interest in their feelings or needs. This can make spending time with them unpleasant.
If you’re dealing with someone always ready to fight or constantly pushes your boundaries, try to spend less time with them.
Have an exit strategy
If you find yourself in a toxic discussion with no visible way out, it’s helpful to have a few pre-arranged exit lines that you can use as needed.
For instance, you can say, “I’m sorry, but I have to interrupt you. I have a significant workload, so I can’t chat right now,” or “I apologize, but I’m expecting an important phone call, and I can’t engage in this discussion at the moment.”
Change Routine
If a family member often disturbs your study sessions or delays your exit for work, consider changing your routine to avoid undesirable interactions. While it may not seem reasonable that you have to adjust, prioritizing your well-being is important.
Altering your routine can help you avoid getting involved in conversations you’d rather skip. You can try having lunch somewhere other than the break room, wearing headphones, or reading a book.
Avoiding family members can be more demanding, but you can have a polite discussion about needing uninterrupted study time. If you’re on your way out the door, practice your quick exit strategy by saying, “I’m running late!”
